Positive parenting
Try saying this, instead of that …

By Cara Johnson-Bader

Let’s face it, being a parent isn’t always easy. It can be stressful, and at times it can test your patience tremendously. In moments when you are stressed or your child is having a meltdown, temper tantrum, or simply not listening, it can lead to frustration for you. In those instances, you may raise your voice or find yourself saying things that cause the situation to escalate and get worse.
Research tells us that how we communicate with our children is especially important. It has a direct impact on their self-esteem and self-worth, and has a meaningful impact on how they will communicate with others. Being thoughtful and intentional in these stressful moments can help de-escalate a temper tantrum and bring calm to an otherwise stressful situation.
Using positive parenting phrases has proven to help calm meltdowns, help your child to focus and listen, and support your child’s healthy development of self.
Try practicing these positive parenting phrases in a calm moment.

Instead of Saying This…
“Stop crying!”
Try Saying This…
“I see that you’re feeling sad right now. How about a hug?”

Instead of Saying This…
“No running in the house!”
Try Saying This…
“Please use your walking feet, so you don’t fall and get hurt.”

Instead of Saying This…
“Don’t hit your brother!”
Try Saying This…
“Hitting hurts our friends. Please use gentle hands.”

Instead of Saying This…
“Here, just let me do it.”
Try Saying This…
“Let’s do it together.”

Instead of Saying This…
“We do not talk like that.”
Try Saying This…
“Use kind words, please.” Then share kind word options.

Instead of Saying This…
“I can’t right now. I’m busy.”
Try Saying This…
“I want to give you my full attention. How about I help you in five minutes once I’m done with……”

Instead of Saying This…
“Clean up your toys.”
Try Saying This…
“Let’s work together to clean up your toys.”

The next time you are in a tense situation, focus on using some of the phrases you practiced, and then work them into your daily interactions with your children.
This will not only help you diminish a stressful situation but will help your child, too!

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